Infidelity causes intense feelings of anger, betrayal, disbelief, guilt, and shame.
Infidelity can occur at any point in a
relationship and is often an accurate indicator of the strength, which the relationship no longer has. Because of the deep
feelings of betrayal, infidelity undermines the foundation of the marriage. Once couples reach this point, all hope is not
lost. It is possible for a couple to heal the wounds and create the relationship they desire, it will just take time to
re-build trust, intimacy, and a sense of security.
Providing both partners want to restore the relationship, couple therapy is the best option. The goals of therapy would
be to put an end to the relationship exits, to be accountable for your actions, to explore underlying marital problems
and un-met needs, creating a safe place to process anger, loss of trust and security, and a re-commitment to your partner
and the relationship.
Infidelity is usually the single most damaging thing that can happen in a relationship. It goes beyond the physical betrayal
to the much more profound emotional betrayal. This psychological betrayal erodes a basic cornerstone in relationships, which
is trust. When trust is damaged the whole relationship is put at great risk.
The trauma of infidelity can be compared to other types of trauma, which can induce in some people symptoms of:
- Post-traumatic Stress Disorder
- Depression
- Unmanageable levels of anxiety, and involve un-characteristic and/or erratic behaviors.
Without intervention, relationships where there is an affair are more at risk for failing. With proper help, however,
relationships can recover, heal, and even be stronger and more solid than ever before.
If you have experienced the trauma of infidelity, don’t feel alone. Statistics show over 70-80% of married couples
struggle with this issue sometime during the course of their marriage.
Because of the shame and guilt associated with this issue it is hard to get support, advice, and help from your friends
and relatives. And yet without help, your odds are decreased of getting through the maze of recovery in the most expedient
and constructive way. Sometimes, especially with this issue, help may need to come in the form of a professional specifically
trained to help couples meet the challenges after infidelity and affairs.
Whether you call it cheating, having an affair, adultery, infidelity, or breaking your monogamy vows, it profoundly hurts
people in committed relationships. It is the single most hurtful and destructive thing that can occur in a marriage where
monogamy is the stated goal. Because it is so devastating, it is quite often not handled very constructively in relationships.
Infidelity does not have to mean an end to the relationship.
In some cases, however, people may make that choice because they
don’t know what the options are. And in some cases, the best option may be to end the relationship [e.g., where there are
multiple affairs, no genuine remorse or plans for recovery] But for an overwhelming majority of cases of infidelity, not only
can the relationship be saved but it can evolve into a stronger and more resilient and even more intimate relationship than
before. However, this often requires some skillful facilitation from a therapist specifically trained in dealing with issues
after infidelity occurs.
To learn more about how I can help, visit my website at
RandiFredricks.com or call 
.
