Every time you and your partner successfully deal with conflict it offers an opportunity for more intimacy and understanding. Every time conflict Is avoided, it can lead to more distance and lack of communication. The key is how you deal with the conflict. Obviously, destructive conflict is not healthy. On the flip side, constructive conflict followed by successful resolution is one of the best things for solid couple growth and cohesiveness.

The following are some suggestions for constructive conflict management and resolution:

1. Use "I" statements as opposed to "you" statements
2. Avoid making wide generalizations such as 'you never' and 'I always'
3. Make every attempt to listen to your partner's feelings
4. Avoid jumping to conclusions and making assumptions
5. Do not interrupt (no matter how excited you get!)
6. Avoid the use of derogatory names, profanity, and insults
7. During the conflict, use respectful communication with your partner at all times. If you feel like you are escalating, ask for a time-out and use some relaxation tools.
8. When arguing, stay focused on the topic and resist the temptation to deflect with other issues and past grievances.
9. Instead of focusing on your partner's behavior (you never do the dishes) concentrate on how you feel.
10. When responding, try not to be defensive
11. Do not walk away from the discussion without being clear that you need a time-out and will be available to resume the conversation in the near future.