As if life isn't stressful enough, gay, lesbian and bisexual individuals must contend with the hate-filled rhetoric of those who would condemn them for who they are. It's easy to understand why so many people in the GLBT community struggle with issues of chemical dependency, self-worth, and what it means to be in a committed relationship.

Gay couples have many of the same issues that heterosexual couples have, but unfortunately, there are also some major differences in same-sex relationships that can put additional stressors on these relationships.

• Partners in same-sex relationships must deal with the stress of homophobia, society's widespread fear and condemnation of their sexual orientation. Partners are often left feeling isolated and unable to talk with support networks about their situations
• Same-sex relationships involve similar gender socialization histories - this can serve as a commonality and connection but it can also create difficulties
• Internalized homophobia occurs when individuals internalize the negative messages from culture and believe that heterosexuality is preferable. It greatly impacts their self-esteem and ability to be happy due to their own fears and guilt about being gay
• Having to be discreet or silent about their relationships in certain situations leads couples to associate hidden with bad
• Non-romantic relationships with others can be affected because of others' reluctance or fear about being in a relationship with a gay person
• Gay couples are affected on a daily basis with issues that heterosexuals do not have to face such as coming out, job discrimination, hate remarks, and societal condemnation.

Couples therapy should be treated no different than marital therapy, aside from the obvious legal and social issues. Any bias a therapist has will be very difficult to hide when dealing with relationship issues with a gay or lesbian client. Their relationships should be treated with the same legitimacy as any committed relationship, and the therapist should be aware that like any sexual relationship, their may be intimacy concerns, fidelity issues, children, parents, and other issues that may be a part of couples counseling.

To learn more about how I work, visit my website at RandiFredricks.com, call ().