It is critical to find out and deliver that which one’s partner needs. In so doing you and your partner achieve and maintain that special ‘best-friend’ or ‘soul-mate’ type of relationship which is indicative of true intimacy. At the same time a gratifying sexual relationship is usually crucial to a healthy intimate partnership

The Benefits of Intimacy in Relationships

When you’re truly intimate with your partner you can talk about who you really are, say what you need and want, and feel heard. Intimate relationships have a sense of mutuality, which means you’re as concerned with your partner’s satisfaction and happiness as with your own. You want to see your partner emotionally, intellectually, socially, sexually, and professionally fulfilled.

Fear of Intimacy

Being intimate in relationships is risky and fear of intimacy develops for several reasons. When we become intimate with someone else, we run the risk of feeling the following:

• Misunderstood
• Rejected
• Ridiculed
• Faced with the fact that you're with the wrong person

• Reluctance to share thoughts and feelings with your lover or spouse.
• Refusal to talk about personal or even superficial events with your friends or family.
• Prolonged singlehood - for several years, and yet you wish for a relationship.
• Multiple dates or sexual partners, with no emotional ties.
• Affairs or one-night stands, with no chance of building intimacy

• Acceptance. Both you and your partner need to feel accepted. Learn to share your true thoughts about another’s actions and opinions without judging or condemning them. Building intimacy is about acceptance of yourself and others.
• Surrender. Come out from behind your walls; put down the armor. Building intimacy is about stepping forward and being known.
• Risks. Start small when you're building intimacy. Share your feelings about work, traffic, the weather, sports -- superficial stuff. If that works (you feel uncomfortable but accepted), start talking about the big stuff like resentment, fear of intimacy, or even abuse.
• Participate. When your partner shares feelings, discuss them. Avoid emotional distance by asking a few questions, and listen to the answers. Open up on the same level, to the same degree if possible. This will go a long way in building intimacy.