Part of the normal emotional cycle of deployment includes couples having doubts about their marriage and fighting a lot just before a deployment. There can be anger at the military spouse who is leaving again, and anger at the military in general.

Military couples experience challenges that many of their civilian counterparts are spared. Multiple long-term separations in particular can have a harmful affect upon even the best of relationships. Couples counseling can help military couples who are dating or engaged to assess their preparedness for marriage, and also to help married couples survive the challenges posed by military life, including multiple deployments.

A number of service men and women are already on their third deployment to war-torn countries like Iraq and Afghanistan. During such separations, it is critical that you take advantage of the multiple means of communicating that are available today (email, letters, cards, video conferencing), all of which can help keep your love for one another alive and strong. Even though many spouses may wish to communicate on a daily basis, they need to know that operational circumstances may develop that can prevent them from communicating with one another for given periods of time.

Trust is the foundation upon which all marriages are built. Love cannot endure without it. Marriages cannot survive if there is a lack of trust between the partners. When long separations occur, partners sometimes worry about infidelity, afraid it will occur simply because someone else they news was unfaithful. In fact, most military couples do not have to deal with this problem during deployments because of the love and commitment they feel for one another.

Your decision to marry was not a one-time matter, but is something that needs to be reaffirmed daily, weekly, monthly and annually. When both spouses firmly believe that marriage is a life-long commitment and they work together to strengthen that commitment, their chances of surviving even the most difficult challenges posed by military life are significantly enhanced.

Couples who have to deal with multiple deployments need to share their expectations about being apart from one another, as well as their expectations once they are together again. The reunion phase requires great sensitivity on the part of both the deployed service member as well as all members of his or her family. While reconnecting may require some time alone apart from the children and other family members, couples counseling can help make the reunification process easier.

A key to surviving multiple deployments is to recognize troubling issues and to get help right away. For many people, these issues are not in isolation. They're often layered challenges that overlap. The trick is to address them as early as possible before they become bigger challenges.